CODEPENDENCY
You might be a hard working, thoughtful employee. You probably are. You might get rewarded with more responsibility, better job titles, people may come to you for advice, etc. And maybe you can handle it all. Maybe you tell yourself “I got this. I have to have this. I might be in trouble if I don’t pick this up.” But there might be a place here or there in your job description where the grips of perfectionism or burnout get you in trouble.
Maybe you have reports you have to do that you avoid out of fear of rejection, failure, looking stupid, etc. This might cause you to get written up despite your reputation for being a hard worker. Being written up may evoke feelings of shame and rage inside you. Or maybe your job duties fall behind because you’re helping your coworkers with their weaker areas. Your work piles up as you feel productive helping others.
As your work piles up there’s possibly a conflicting feeling inside you: "I feel guilty for not doing my work. I'm worried I’ll get caught sooner or later." Maybe you double up on work hours to make up for this imbalance. On the other hand you’re feeling proud for the help you can offer, getting positive feedback from your coworkers as they thank you effusively for fixing their problems. You feel capable, competent, and valuable.
It’s probably a pattern you’re used to, and even if you deny it or hope this time will be different, eventually this comes crashing down around you. Suddenly the feelings of shame rise up. To defend against these feelings you might rage, act helpless, numb out, hide, or triple down and work even harder to be a good valuable employee.
Maybe you have reports you have to do that you avoid out of fear of rejection, failure, looking stupid, etc. This might cause you to get written up despite your reputation for being a hard worker. Being written up may evoke feelings of shame and rage inside you. Or maybe your job duties fall behind because you’re helping your coworkers with their weaker areas. Your work piles up as you feel productive helping others.
As your work piles up there’s possibly a conflicting feeling inside you: "I feel guilty for not doing my work. I'm worried I’ll get caught sooner or later." Maybe you double up on work hours to make up for this imbalance. On the other hand you’re feeling proud for the help you can offer, getting positive feedback from your coworkers as they thank you effusively for fixing their problems. You feel capable, competent, and valuable.
It’s probably a pattern you’re used to, and even if you deny it or hope this time will be different, eventually this comes crashing down around you. Suddenly the feelings of shame rise up. To defend against these feelings you might rage, act helpless, numb out, hide, or triple down and work even harder to be a good valuable employee.
This is one example of what is meant by “unmanageability" in the spectrum of codependency.
If this sounds like you, or you can see how your life relates to this,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Body Mind Equation specializes in codependent behaviors which often underlie addictions and other compulsive behaviors. Through sensorimotor psychotherapy, motivational interviewing, and 12-step philosophies, we invite you to gently become aware of life-long patterns which were once used for survival. We encourage you to compassionately face the difficult feelings which codependent patterns strive to 'protect' you from. We guide you towards the power of your own intuition and inner voice to make choices that align with your personal values.